ALL FINGERS ARE EQUAL....SORT OF...

Body, cannot be said to be the same as Firewood....in popular lingo - body no be firewood! These days, the temperature of my tiredness is always very hot hot!!! May be its the fact that I wake up before I'm asleep. Or morning continuously ambushes night and never lets night finish telling its story before hollering 'that's a wrap!!!!'.

 

So I managed to find the road a bit free the other day but alas, my tyres held a general meeting and decided - WE SHALL FRUSTRATE HER!!!! MUHAHAHAHA (that's their super villain laughter). Brethren, over an hour was spent fixing the evil tyres.

An hour you say? Yes o! because the vulcanizer deemed it righteous and just to periodically abandon my car and attend to the tyres of other cars who needed a quick pump. I should have given him a piece of my mind right? Initially, when I realised what he was doing, with all the tired anger I could muster, I marched from the side of the wall which was blocking my view of the car the silly 'canizer dumped my tyres to service. As I stormed around the bend, the glorious sight of the car that hit my eyes caused me to break into a smile and say 'Welcome sir! Is it your tyre? (turning to the 'canizer) Ahn ahn, ogbeni plix, attend to him fast. Thank you sir. Well done sir. We'll see some other time'. Lol! Don't blame me the car was darned handsome (kindly note I said the CAR...lol).

When the goose of a 'canizer dumped me once more to attend to a very shiny jeep, I strolled slowly to the car and said to the driver (a round man with 7months pregnancy size of stomach), 'oga he who does not drive a jeep today, will drive a jeep tomorrow o! why did you hi-jack the vulcanizer from me; because I'm not driving a jeep  abi?!'.

Eventually, the 'canizer finished my work and I carried myself off thankfully. I wondered to myself why the vulcanizer gauged me as lesser than the other car owners. Was it because of my old motor car (even though the repairs  I did cost far more than the meager N100 pumping of tyres the other shiny cars did)? Was it because I'm a woman and they were all men? Or as it because I was speaking queens English and not Pidgin English (telling him to 'hurry along now!' and not 'oga kia kia jor!')?

The truth is, all fingers are not equal but no finger can boast of being more important than the other (if in doubt please chop off the finger u consider most insignificant on your hand and send me a message of how well you're coping without it). As usual, it Just My Take!

NEVER BELIEVE ARTISANS, THEIR WRISTWATCHES LIE!

Should a mechanic, tailor, carpenter, electrician, painter etc ever tell you - 30 minutes, before 1 hour, 1 day, by tomorrow….do not! I repeat and i say, do not!!! Do not ever believe them!

For clearer understanding, let me infuse the above in sentences:-

‘Madam your dress go ready by tomorrow’. ‘Oga before 30 minutes I go bring your motor come’. ‘In 1 hours’ time, I go paint am finish’. Need I go on?

Now, i am an authority in being disappointed by artisans so take ye my words as yea and amen! Consider with me the painter who once told me that he will finish painting some railings in 45 minutes. My brethren…. (I pause, put my hand on my jaw, close my eyes slowly and shake my head…), I was at the same place from 1pm to 6pm. 45 minutes!

Once again ponder with me, upon the mechanic who said the painting of a car will be done in 3 days. My dear brethren…(I clap my hands slowly, amebo style– right hand on top of left, left hand on top of right and right hand on top of left again. Then i hang my left hand on my left hip and sigh deeply). The car was returned 3 days…...and one week after.

Don’t rush me please! Just wait because I have more testimonies. I implore you to reminisce with me one more time, on the tailor who told me that my aso-ebi for a wedding will be ready in 2 weeks. Brethren (I fold my hands across my chest like a village person; I utter suddenly….. ‘Hian!’) 

Well, I guess the only explanation for why 1 hour cannot be 1 hour and 2 days bluntly refuses to be 2 days with artisans, is because they are made to swear an oath during their ‘freedom’ (go ahead and pretend like you don’t know what I mean…rolling my big eyes. Freedom is the passing out parade of apprentices from their masters).

Now the oath:

‘I Wasiu the mechanic (or whatever profession as applicable), hereby pledge to frustrate the lives of customers, who will come my way, demanding for tasking jobs to be done in the shortest possible time for the cheapest possible amount, with the most perfect outcome possible. I will purposely mislead them, to make their schedules and plans center around my misleading timing. I will not make phone calls to inform them that I have not finished the job. I will not pick their calls and let them wait in painful confusion. I will eventually dislodge their plans and take extra time, way more than the initial time frame I promised to complete their jobs. This I do so undertake’.

Look, it has to be the above pledge….or why else do they all behave in the same manner? Well, it may or may not be true but my brethren, that’s……Just My Take!

 

PS: Are you still waiting to know what happened with the tailor? Hahahaha! I can’t even give you an answer because I condemned the material with the said tailor in frustration, after several visits. Lol…..

LEKKI HIGH-WAY SUPERMARKET

While we crawled at snail-speed through heavy traffic; fighting for right of way as if other road users were going to snatch the coal-tar off the floor if we allowed them drive ahead of us, these are the things I saw being sold by hawkers on the highway:

 

Wall clock, cotton buds, cartons of wine glasses, shoe racks, bedsheets, hausa palm-slippers, rubber bathroom slippers, antique lamps, rechargeable reading lamps, designer wristwatches, shoe brushes, shoes polish, leather belts, plastic jacket file, i.d card holder, steeringwheel cover, mens socks, wiper blades, caution sign, fire extinguisher, hoe, rake, toy animals, inspirational books, toilet seat cover, toilet scrubbing brush, tummy trimmer, laundry basket, hair clippers, video dvds, audio cds, bottles of groundnuts, banana, plantain, green (i think that's spinach but I'm content with calling it 'green' so you should be too!lol), irish potatoes, onions, tomatoes, pepper, green pepper, green peas, spring onions, lettuce, cabbage (often pronounced as garbage by some people...lmao), carrots, garden eggs- green, garden eggs - white, automatic fuel pump, mirror, shower curtains, beef roll, soft drinks (no free advert here jor!), 'ice ceram' and 'yogurt', lifestyle magazines, sunglasses, smart gadgets like palm top, galaxy tabs....to mention a few.

 

So, come come come and get your shopping needs met at Lekki Highway Supermarket, a one-stop-shop for household items, personal grooming kits, kitchen utensils, stationery, resturant on wheels, car accesories, entertainment... you just name it and they give it!

Remaining human beings to be sold on that road sha. Im not a fan of highway hawking; it gets particularly irritation when the sellers stand in front of your car and break the flow of your struggling for right of way, thereby allowing another driver to 'chance' you on the road. Well, hustlers will keep hustling so whether I feel high-way hawkers should be disallowed is.... Just My Take.

PS: so what if you saw me buying....something from them on my way home after work today?!...lol

Greeting Ministry

Technology is totally cool and I believe its about time Nigeria got on the global map of techy-compliant nations. I just did an on-line registration for the renewal of my drivers licence and its just fab! Thanks to this electronic process, I have by-passed several hands to shake and people to greet (my dear, plenty greeting dries up the body). I got my application i.d number immediately, I paid directly from my account and all I've got to do now is go for the electronic image capturing runs.

 

But a tiny little voice in my head tells me that 'naija no dey carry last'. Since all avenues for greeting ministry have been overruled due to this electronic registration something, the last stage of the process may need some facilitation for the licence to be ready in time.   

 

Since like many Nigerians, 'i no fit shout', should there be need to partake in any facilitation event, I will most definately......fac....you thought i'd say facilitate right? I will face the mountains and pray for peace in Jerusalem... (which one consign you how mango take ripe overnight? Is the aim not for the mango to be ripe?! Just focus on the fact that completing the licence renewal process is all that matters and jejely ignore the hows and how nots...lol).

 

My project (MSc thesis) is screaming my name for attention but I have blunty ignored it; at least for this night because right now, my bed is looking like the the best thing that ever happened to me.

With these few words of mine I hope I have been able to convince and not confuse you that government processes should be automated to foster transparency and accountabily in the 21st century (ah, Yomi will be proud of me o!). You gree, abi you no gree?...don't worry you don't have to gree cuz its........Just My Take 

Finally here

Giggling... So, i finally started my own blog. Yeah, i know blogging is no longer a novel phenomena but it is to me so say what you like, lol.

 

There is an urge to let my voice be heard, to make my presence felt. What i shall say or what i will talk about is not fully formed in my head but I've got to take the first step....so here we are.

 

I love to laugh, so stay tuned for some laughs....and yes, you MUST drop a comment whenever you read something here.

 

All I want to share is Just My Take on this and that...Evaglow